Sleepless
by aimeecat
Summary: Rush and Chloe struggle to cope after their experience on the alien ship - Rush/Chloe
1. Chapter 1

This little story has been buzzing around in my head for a while but the interminable wait for the start of the second season prompted me to actually write it. There is more to come if anyone is interested. Any and all feedback welcome - thanks for reading!

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**Sleepless - Part 1**

Rush's footsteps echoed making his march down the long hallway seem far less solitary than it was. Since arriving on _Destiny_ he had noticed that the apparent distance from his workstation to his billet was proportional to how difficult the day had been, and this day had been harder than most. Colonel Young's unrealistic demands, coupled with T.J. insistently probing the state of his mental health after his excursion on the alien ship, had left him even more exhausted than usual.

Heading back to his quarters for a few hours fitful sleep his mind continued to race, working through permutations and combinations and recombinations for an algorithm that might allow for more control of the ship's systems. Hitting a logical dead end he stopped walking and pinched the bridge of his nose, hoping to mitigate the headache that was building steadily. With a grunt he started trudging again.

Preoccupied, he was nearly at his quarters before he realised that when he had stopped walking the sound of footsteps hadn't stopped with him. He had intentionally selected quarters well removed from the rest of the crew to avoid unnecessary interaction and after the failed putsch the idea that someone was following him sent fine tendrils of unease down his spine. Rush knew there would be repercussions for those who had been involved and his animosity toward Young would put him at the top of the list. He turned the last corner and angrily punched the keypad to open the door. If Young thought he would just accept whatever punishment he was going to dish out, he was quite mistaken. Tired and impatient he sat on the bed and waited for the owner of the footsteps to arrive.

The slim figure that appeared in the doorway was nothing like the heavy set marine he expected. "Chloe?"

"I hope I'm not disturbing you," she said, leaning against the doorway. "I wasn't sure if you'd still be awake this late."

Relieved that his few hours rest wouldn't be interrupted by a confrontation with one of Young's henchmen, Rush relaxed. "I've been working – I only just got back."

Chloe nodded but said nothing. She was chewing her lip, a familiar sign that she was on edge and from the way she sagged against the doorway he knew she was as exhausted as he was. He wanted to let her speak in her own time but his fatigue and impatience won out. "What do you want?" he asked, more sharply than intended.

She barely flinched at his tone but it was enough for him to regret it. "I just wanted to talk," she said, "About what happened to us."

Rush tensed, he knew she was struggling with the aftermath of the abduction but he had no desire to discuss it or the nightmares that woke him sweating each night. Given a choice he would prefer to think about what he had endured as little as possible. He had no idea how to talk to her, discussing emotions was never something that had come naturally to him and too many times his inability to express compassion had alienated those around him. Not for the first time he envied those who knew what to say so as not to seem clichéd or insincere.

The dull ache in his head, fueled by the renewed tension, became a deep steady throbbing and he pinched the bridge of his nose again, knowing it wouldn't help. "Shouldn't you be talking to Lieutenant Scott about this?"

His tone made the question seem like a dismissal and she turned to leave. "Sorry," she said, "I have disturbed you."

Rush glanced at his bed, longing to lose himself in sleep for a few hours. "Wait. That's not what I meant." He said and gestured to a chair. "Please, come in."

She crossed the room slowly and sat by a small table overflowing with parts from the ship's systems, all of them at least partly disassembled. "Don't you have enough work without bringing it back here?"

"It needs to be done. There's no one else on board who can do it."

She nodded at the mater-of-fact way that he said it. She didn't speak for a while but Rush had learnt from his previous mistake not to try to hurry her. "Matt's great," she said finally, "He's always there for me and he really tries to understand what happened."

"But?"

"But I can barely sleep and when I do I have nightmares. I wake up and I'm so scared. I want to feel safe with him there," she said and Rush caught a brief flash of guilt in her eyes, "But I just don't."

He remained silent. If she was looking for relationship advice he was the last person she should be talking to.

She slumped forward, elbows resting on knees. "No one on Destiny seems to understand how dangerous they are. I feel like if I don't keep vigilant, if I'm not watching for them, they'll catch us and..." Her voice trailed but from her pained expression he knew what she was remembering.

"Chloe, the responsibility isn't yours. One person can't shoulder a burden like that."

She glanced at the jumble of impossibly complicated electronics covering the table. "Pot, meet Kettle."

Rush snorted with amusement and smiled. Chloe has seen him smile before, but this was the first time she could remember seeing a genuine smile that went all the way to his eyes.

"I like talking to you," she said, "You don't try to tell me not to worry and that everything will be alright."

Rush was unsure he deserved her praise but so far the conversation had gone well, although that was probably because he'd hardly spoken. It's hard to say the wrong thing if you say nothing. Chloe was calmer now, and she seemed to have said all she needed to say. Rush relaxed for the first time since she had sat down, the tension seeping away leaving behind a familiar bone-deep weariness.

"Chloe," he said gently, "I'm sorry, but I need to get some rest."

She smiled and nodded."Of course," she said, "Thank you for this."

Rush started working on unlacing his boots as she stood. "I don't know why, but when I'm around you, I don't feel scared any more."

"You're welcome to stay." He said and cringed. He hadn't intended to imply anything with the invitation but of course if he was going to say something, it was bound to be the wrong thing. Unwilling to risk compounding his embarrassment by saying anything else he kept his head down and concentrated on his boots.

Chloe watched him working at the laces and considered the offer before answering. "I'd like that."

Rush finally got his boots off and moved to the far side of the bed. He briefly considered whether he would be able to sleep fully clothed before deciding he was so damn tired it wouldn't matter. He settled on removing his belt and socks and tossed them on the floor before crawling into the bed. Chloe went to the other side, kicked off her shoes and slipped under the covers. They lay back to back and he barely had time to wonder if she felt as awkward as he did before realising she was already asleep.

He listened to her deep, even breaths. It had been a long time since he had fallen asleep to a sound like that and his last conscious thought was that it was something he rather liked. He was woken once during the night, and for the first time since the abduction not by a nightmare, Chloe had rolled over and her hand had come to rest on his shoulder. As he drifted back to sleep he decided that he rather liked that as well.


	2. Chapter 2

**Even for me this has been a long time coming - apologies to those interested in this story.  
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**There is more to come ...  
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**Sleepless – Part 2**

Chloe let herself wake slowly. For the first time in weeks she had slept soundly, undisturbed by the nightmares that usually left her wide eyed and shaking. Cocooned in contentment she refused to open her eyes and risk losing the feeling any sooner than necessary. She slid her hand under the covers, searching for the warmth of Matthew's body on the other side of the bed. Finding no one there, she cracked open an eye and with a start remembered where she was. She sat up and glanced around guiltily, relieved to find herself alone.

She wriggled back until she could lean against the wall and surveyed her surroundings. The layout and furnishings were virtually identical to the other cabins she had seen but, while no one on board had much in the way of personal effects, this room was more sterile than most. Only the pile of circuitry and computer boards on the table gave any sign she had not chosen a random unoccupied room in which to sleep.

Rush was gone and she assumed he would already be at a console, engrossed in his work to unravel the mysteries of _Destiny's _systems. She had initially thought his voluntary segregation from the crew to be appropriate - abrasive and condescending, his behaviour did nothing to lift morale. Only recently had she come to see hints of carefully hidden compassion beneath his callous exterior. When he had suggested she stay the night her first instinct was to decline. Her looks and her father's position meant she was experienced in gently rebuffing unwelcome suitors, but her political work had honed her skills in reading body language and she had accepted his invitation, confident it was no clumsy attempt at seduction.

Her stomach rumbled and she realised she was starving, another novelty since the abduction. The rest of he crew would be sitting down to breakfast in the mess and she hoped she would be able to see Matt before he left for his morning duties. She slipped out from under the covers and quickly made the bed, a small thank you for a rare night of restful sleep, and headed out the door.

As she navigated the maze of corridors that would lead to the mess, she fretted about what to tell Matt. Sure that he would understand that she had done nothing wrong, her concerns were for Rush. Even before they arrived on _Destiny_ the military personnel had distrusted him, and his role in the failed coup attempt had done nothing to reduce the tension. If Matt got it into his head that Rush had any romantic intentions towards her she was worried what the repercussions might be. She reached a junction and rounded the corner, almost colliding with T.J., and yelped in surprise.

T.J grinned good-naturedly, "Heading to the mess?" Chloe smiled and nodded and they fell into step.

As they walked T.J could see that for the first time in weeks the black rings under Chloe's eyes were almost gone. She no longer seemed painfully exhausted and with renewed energy easily kept up a brisk pace. "How're you feeling?" she asked.

"Great," Chloe said, "I finally got a good night's sleep."

T.J raised an eyebrow, "No nightmares?"

"Not one."

"That's great," T.J said, glad of any sign Chloe might be starting to move beyond the trauma she had experienced.

They reached the last junction before the mess and T.J spotted Colonel Young in an adjacent corridor. He signalled he needed to speak to her and she stopped walking and nodded that she would join him.

Before she left Chloe she asked, "Did you try something different to help you sleep? I'd really like to have something new to suggest to Doctor Rush."

"Nothing he doesn't know about already," Chloe said and ducked into the mess before T.J could ask her what she was referring to.

Most of the tables were occupied by small groups and despite the meagre breakfast rations the room was filled with a warm hum of conversation. Loud laughter erupted from one of the tables and Chloe spotted Matt in the group who were guffawing over the antics of one of the junior marines. She was about to head over to join them when spotted Rush sitting with Eli at a table in a far corner of the mess, segregated as usual. Eli was talking animatedly and from the distant look on Rush's face she assumed he had been talking for quite a while.

As she approached their table she could hear Eli describing in detail some new project he was working on with one of the Kinos. When he noticed her he stopped talking, to Rush's relief, and saluted Chloe with his cup, "Ave."

"Morning Eli."

Rush looked up at her and his lips twitched briefly in what Chloe was coming to understand was his version of a smile.

"Thank you for last night," she said.

Rush bowed his head slightly in acknowledgement, "Any time."

Eli watched the brief exchange, eyebrows raised. As Chloe walked over to join the marines he watched her go then turned back and focussed on Rush, "What was that about?"

"We slept together last night."

Eli's jaw dropped and he stared open-mouthed at Rush who, amused by the young man's credulity, failed to hide a smirk behind his mug of what passed for coffee. With and exasperated grunt Eli said, "Well if you are going to be like that…"

Not easily discouraged, Eli soon returned to his monologue. Rush had no interest in his ongoing foolishness, there were vastly more important things for them to spend their time on than Kino video-diaries, nonetheless he tried to focus on what Eli was saying. The alternative, watching Choe talking and laughing with Matt and the other marines, did not seem prudent.


	3. Chapter 3

**A big thanks to everyone who sent reviews / pms regarding this story - I am really glad you are enjoying it and I hope that I can keep writing a story you will want to read. Your interest is inspiring - this update only took two weeks (unlike the last one which took two years) so clicks for me! :-P  
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**This chapter is a bit of an interlude before things get a bit more... interesting.  
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**Cheers!**

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**Sleepless – Part 3**

Three nights later Rush was alone in his cabin, seated at his small table at work on one of _Destiny's_ more uncooperative computer modules. His hand trawled through the piles of cables and circuit boards in search of an elusive component and, unable to find it, dug deeper until a stack of boards cascaded to the floor. He tossed aside the module and scowled at the offending components, it seemed like too much effort to pick the damn things up so he left them scattered.

It had been several hours since he had absently picked at his evening meal and as he rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands he realised just how tired he was. He had barely slept the last two nights, his insomnia only partially due nightmares, but it would be worth going to bed even if he didn't sleep. He could rest his body, if not his mind. After a struggle with the laces he eventually managed to pull off his boots and find a place for them amongst the jumble of electronics on the floor. He rolled his shoulders, which served only to accentuate the constant ache, and pulled himself to his feet. As he headed toward the bed he stripped off his T-shirt and undershirt and dropped them to join the mess on the floor. He hopped the last few steps while he pulled off his socks and tossed them aside. The door chime rang while as he pulled the belt free of his jeans. His shoulders sagged and his head fell forward. He fervently wished whoever was there would go away; surely it was not too much to ask for them to give him just a few hours peace.

The door chime rang again.

He groaned. If it was one of Young's marines they would be hammering on the door by now demanding entry, so it could only be Eli being so politely persistent at this time of night. No doubt he would want to show off some irrelevant new result of his toying with the Kinos, as though his hobby was interesting or important.

A third chime sounded.

Rush blinked slowly and took a deep breath. "Damn it Eli…" He strode across the room and punched the door control. "What now?" he snapped as it opened.

He immediately regretted his tone when he saw Chloe waiting in the corridor. The black rings around her eyes were back and made her look as exhausted as he felt. "I thought you were someone else…" He wanted to apologise for his brusqueness, to ask her why she was there or perhaps even to tell her he was glad she was, but silence had served him well the last time she came to his cabin so he kept his mouth shut.

She smiled faintly, hesitant. "You did say any time."

Rush stared at her for a moment uncomprehending before he realised what she meant. He nodded and stepped aside to allow her to slip past him. By the time he had taken a deep, steadying breath and closed the door she was already in his bed, nestled under the covers. The light clicked off and he picked his way through the debris on the floor, as cautious of damage to the electronics as to his feet. Eventually he made it to the far side of the bed, smiled when he thought of it as 'his side', and clambered under the covers.

One hand tucked behind his head and the other resting on his belly, he tried to settle his mind, to put aside the myriad obstacles he must overcome to keep _Destiny's_ motley crew alive. Eyes closed, he listened to Chloe's quiet, steady breathing and allowed his body to relax. A dull ache settled into his bones, a familiar irritation but not something he could blame for his sleepless nights. He shifted his hips to try and get more comfortable and his fingers brushed over the bare skin of his stomach. His eyes snapped open - he'd forgotten to put a shirt back on. He told himself it was a minor thing, a foolish concern, and not something Chloe would be perturbed by since she was the one who had come to share his bed, but that didn't prevent a tightness forming in his chest.

While he debated whether he should get up and search out a shirt Chloe wriggled closer. She rested her head on his shoulder and her long fingers curled around his arm and brushed against his ribs. The skin where she touched tingled and his heart beat just a little faster. Her breathing become slow and deep and Rush lay still, determined not to disturb her in case she moved away. The ache in his bones melted away under the warmth of her cheek and the faint tickle of her breath over his chest. As his eyelids drooped he marvelled at the analgesic properties of her touch, an effect was not limited to physical pain.

When he woke, Rush found himself alone. He lay in bed for some time unable to decide if he was more disappointed or relieved.


	4. Chapter 4

**To those reading this story - once again I thank you for your patience. Just a short chapter this time to keep things moving :)  
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**Any comments / criticisms gratefully received!  
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**Sleepless – Part 4**

Chloe's pace was brisk as she headed back to her quarters. She had woken early and hoped she might be in time to catch Matt before he headed out for his morning duties; they might even have time to eat breakfast together. With renewed optimism and energy fuelled by a great night's sleep she was smiling as she stepped through the door.

Matt was sitting on the end of their bed lacing his boots and barely glanced up as she entered. "You're back."

Chloe's smile faltered at his cool and unenthusiastic greeting, and a hollow sensation wound its way into her gut. She knew Matt didn't like the idea of her spending time with Rush and she could appreciate how he felt; if their roles were reversed she was sure she would find it difficult to accept the situation. That was why she had insisted on talking with Matt, both before and after the first night she had spent in Rush's quarters, to ensure he understand what she was doing, and why. She had thought he was prepared to accept this arrangement, that he understood it eased the strain she was under, but now it seemed she might have been wrong.

She walked over and sat next to him. Her hand rested on his shoulder, the physical contact intended to reassure them both. "Matt, we talked about this. You said you understood, that you were ok with it."

He shrugged her hand off his shoulder and stood, looking down at her, "Well I'm not."

A tightness formed in her chest and she chewed her bottom lip, taken aback by his abruptness. "Don't you trust me?"

"I do…" he said, but he looked far less certain than Chloe would have liked. "But if we're together you're supposed to come to me when you need something." He strode across the room and grabbed his jacket off the back of a chair. He pulled it on, roughly thrusting an arm through each sleeve. Face stony, he turned to her. "I don't want you seeing him."

Chloe had intended to remain diplomatic but his proprietary tone made her jaw clench. "You don't own me Matt."

He shrugged, unaware or unconcerned that her attitude was no longer conciliatory. "You need to make a choice."

The energy she had woken with was seeping away to be replaced by a familiar numbness. She sighed and said, "You're right."

Matt focussed on buttoning his jacket. She could see from the faint upward curl of his lips that he was pleased with what he thought was her capitulation, confident she would do what he wanted. It was this confidence that had initially drawn her to him; though young he seemed ready to lead, and to be followed. The appeal began to wane when she realised that even in their relationship he expected her to follow his lead like some junior cadet.

Chloe reached a decision and took a deep breath to set her resolve. "I have made a choice, Matt. I'm sorry."

Matt's almost-smirk disappeared and his face darkened when he realised what she meant. "Are you saying you want to be with _him_?"

Chloe shook her head sadly. She looked him in the eye so there could be no doubt as to her intent. "I'm saying I don't want to be with you."


End file.
